Rally's (4799 Sawmill Road)

If you've lived in Columbus long enough, you've seen a lot of fast-food chains come and go, such as Burger Chef, G.D. Ritzy's, Rax, Sister's, Zantigo, and Big Bite. Most of these failed because they offered a redundant or inferior product to the industry leaders, often at a premium price. Others seemed like sure-fire hits (remember G.D. Ritzy's shoestring fries and ice-cream bar?), but failed anyway.

And some chains, like MacArthur's old soldiers, never die - they just fade away. Rally's once operated many restaurants in the Columbus suburbs with diner-like red vinyl booths and black formica tables. They now offer only drive-thru service, and the only remaining locations seem to be scattered through the inner city and the far West Side. Rally's provided good burgers at reasonable prices, and their battered fries were a unique menu item. Why didn't they succeed?

A quick Google search reveals there's still a Rally's at Bethel and Sawmill. Perhaps a visit will help solve this mystery.

The Sawmill Rally's is a little white hut with drive-thrus on both sides of the building and a couple of picnic tables out front, should anyone should want to enjoy the 20-degree temperatures. The double drive-thru would be a nice time-saving touch if I had a passenger who cared to place the order for me. I'm dining solo mio today, so I take the right-hand line. The wait wasn't an issue anyway - at noon, there were only two cars ahead of me. I imagine being served yesterday's burger on a stale bun due to slow sales and wonder if I've made a mistake.

Things began to look up when I pulled up to the speaker. A sweet, sultry female voice greeted me with "Welcome to Rally's, would you like to try a double deal today?" It's always a good sign when the drive-thru cashier has a good attitude and doesn't mumble. It's a bonus if she sounds as if she might look like Beyonce Knowles or Pam Grier. I quickly scanned the menu. The Rally-Q was my old favorite from college days: a Sloppy-Joe-like sandwich of crumbled beef slathered in mild barbecue sauce, sold for 79 cents. It's gone now, but the Rallyburger and Big Buford are still available, along with new (to me) items including fish and chicken sandwiches and hot dogs. I ordered a small-sized Rallyburger combo meal.

I pulled forward to find that while the cashier didn't look like Beyonce, she did have a kind smile and a pleasant, professional demeanor not often found in fast-food service. She quickly made my change (total bill: under $4!), handed me my bag full of greasy goodness, and sent me on my way. Now - where to eat? I remembered that Griggs Reservoir Park runs the length of Riverside Drive from Hayden Run to Fishinger, with scenic overlooks of the Scioto River - as scenic as Ohio in January gets.

I find a nice spot along the east bank of the Scioto. In the summer, there are ducks, geese, joggers, dog-walkers, and picnickers. On this frigid day, there's just me, eating in the car. I decide to start with the fries. Rally's fries are battered to a light crisp and seasoned with lots of pepper. These were hot and tasty, just as I remembered them, with a flavor unlike the fries at any other quick-service restaurant. So far, so good.

Time to move on to the burger, which is wrapped in foil rather than paper to better hold the heat - a crucial concern for a drive-thru-only establishment. Sure enough, my burger was still nice and hot. The bun was fresh, though mashed a bit; the patty was flavorful, but a little too greasy. Toppings included cheese, lettuce (a little limp), tomato (fresh, but flavorless), red onions (crisp and strong), ketchup and mayo (plentiful - again, crucial for a restaurant that has no condiment bar). The Coke was a little flat, but not undrinkably so.

In summary, the Sawmill Rally's provided a good (though not great) meal at a very reasonable price with excellent service. If my experience is representative of the chain as a whole, then I remain stumped as to why the suburban eat-in Rally's locations failed. Maybe the Rally-Q was the karmic keystone holding the Rally's chain together, and pulling it from the menu started the long, slow decline.